Going Live

The two things required by our agency that we create ourselves to give an expectant mother an idea of who we are is a letter and a website.  Our letter was available for distribution beginning this past Monday.  Our website is “going live” today.  Going live just means that on my agency’s website our picture and an intro will be linked to our website.  From what I know website’s are becoming a norm just like the pap profile or letter. 

Something I thought was neat:  Our agency’s website is searchable.  For example, if an expectant mom wants a family who is not Christian (like us), there is a search for the religion of the family and we would be under “Other non-Christian” (don’t get me started on the terminology; there are four different categories for Christian, one category for “other non-Christian,” and one category for “no religion”).  A list of paps that are not Christian would show up along with a picture and an intro with the link to each pap’s website.  Potentially, an expectant mom would see our picture and read our intro and realize what a cute family we are and click on the link to our website.  On our website are pictures of us, some words about who we are, and information on how to get in touch with us via email or phone.  I’m toying with the idea of adding a blog to our website.  It seems to be a new thing that is starting to catch on.  I’m just not sure what I would write about.  The thing that draws me about having a blog on our website is that I’m much more articulate in written word than I am in person.  I don’t have a lot of charm and charisma (my sister is the one that managed to keep all that for herself, but I got the boobs, so you know. . .), and I was hoping that part would shine through more if I were to write. 

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Completely changing the subject.  About the gas:

I’m jealous of all of you under $4. ;p  By now, it’s been 2 days since I took that picture and we’re at about $4.73-4.79, depending on the gas station. At the moment I’m paying just over $60 to fill my car up (no big giant SUV or minivan or truck, just a car) about once a week.  When I first started driving I was 18 and paid about $12-15 to fill my car up. 

It’s Out of My Hands

for the time being.

I thought I would take a short break from my bloggy break to explain what goes on now. One of the things I was frustrated with domestic adoption is that there are a lot of things that are agency specific and a lot of agencies do things differently. This is how the next step of our journey will be.

Our letters will arrive tomorrow at 10:30 am (gotta love UPS). We had filled out a profile that included our demographics for preferences an expectant mother might have along with our preferences. When both of those match and an expectant mother has requested letters, ours will be sent to her. A lot happens before they receive letters. They first contact the agency and get assigned a counselor. The counselors are available to expectant mothers every day, 24 hours a day.

Potentially we could get a call or email anytime. In all reality I don’t expect a call or email anytime soon – though that doesn’t mean it can’t happen quickly or that I won’t have my phone stuck to my side at all times or checking my email every 10 minutes or so. If I would venture a guess, it would be a few months wait just for our first phone calls or emails. The *average* wait time for my agency is 6-12 months from being in the books to completing an adoption. And honestly every situation is different. There are APs who get a lot of calls and contacts but will wait years. There are APs that won’t get any calls for months and then suddenly will get one expectant mom that chooses them. There are APs that waited weeks as opposed to months. Our journey will be ours and I can’t even begin to pinpoint how things will turn out.

A call or email does not mean that we are matched. An expectant mom makes that decision and it could happen at any point or not at all. I’m a little nervous – okay, I’m a lot nervous – because I’m really reserved and I’ve been called a snob on more than one occasion at first meeting (which was eventually taken back after I got to know them, but it takes a while to get to know me). The calls and/or emails will be so that she can get to know us, know our situation and who we are so that if she does choose adoption she can choose a family she knows and trusts. This is, after all, building a relationship that will hopefully continue through our child’s life.

After we match, and I’ll go into this in more detail after we match, we will all meet at the agency and discuss contact and how much contact we will have. There are papers signed that outline our agreement. In fact, I believe that we are held to the agreement, as we should be, and can be taken to court to uphold it if we are not. I’ll talk about matching and what happens after matching once it happens. I’m in a different mindset right now and I’ll get into that subject as it comes closer to a reality.

Here I am. Waiting.