Speaking of Goals

I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers taking on weekly goals.  It’s interesting to read.  I find myself cheering them on, and feeling inspired by them.  I may have to copy them because I am all about lists and goals and organizing, but not just yet.

I realize as 2008 zooms right past me that my husband and I are getting very close to one of the biggest goals of our marriage.  It will have taken us about 5 and half years, but by the end of this year we will be completely debt-free.  No credit card debt.  No car debt.  No loan debts.  Everything will be paid off.  As of right now we have one credit card and one car loan to pay off, both of which are already paid down to where we will be able to pay them off this year.  The only bills we’ll have are living expenses like electricity, cable, and rent.

Over 5 years of paying off credit card debt, paying for cars, paying for loans.  All gone.  I’m ecstatic!!  Over 5 years of doing things like saving up our money to pay for our furniture – no easy feat - with cash so that we wouldn’t owe more money. 

This doesn’t mean that we’ll be able to go nuts with our money now (although hubby has some much deserved plans on a big screen tv – paid for with saved cash, of course).  It’s been years of having to check the bank account before we go on a big Target spending spree, or saving our money AND waiting for a fantastic deal for a sofa.  It’s tough to not just pull out a credit card, not only for things we want, but also for what we need. 

However, and what makes me so happy now, is that when all this is paid off and our adoption is finalized we can focus on two very big things that we have pushed aside to do this.  Buying a house.  Saving money, both for retirement and for our children’s future.  Both things we have been really just wanting so badly for our lives, and both things we’ve been putting off to allow ourselves to pay off all of our credit cards and any money we owed on loans, including our cars. 

So we’ll still be doing the same things like paying for our big purchases with cash, saving up for things that we want, but we’ll be able to do those two things.  Credit is a reality.  We need it in order to qualify for things that we may want in the future.  What we’re thinking is having one credit card and using it to pay for either bills or gas for our cars.  We’ll set the money aside so that it’ll be available to pay off the card every couple of months. 

Five years ago it seemed so hard to get up to this point.  I used to wonder if we were ever going to do it, or if it would take a decade or more.  I’ve watched friends crawl up to tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt.  It is so hard to get out of it.  We’re priviledged to be able to get out of debt because I know people who can’t afford to get out of debt and can’t afford to live on what they have and so they just get deeper into debt.  So at the end of this year I’ll be breathing a sigh of relief.  It will be a huge weight off of our shoulders, a really nice one to pull off of ourselves.

Resolutions

I love the feeling of a new year.  The anticipation for numerous wonderful things to happen.  The feeling that things will get better because of the fresh start.

 I do have some goals, things that I want to do this year. 

 I’m giving up soda and fast food.  I won’t give up coffee or tea, though I won’t do as many Starbucks runs, and will drink mostly water.  Both my husband and I know that we need to eat healthier and be in better shape.  So yet another plan to use the exercise bike (that is currently being used as a towel holder and magazine rack).   And as disgusted as my husband wants to be by my stubbornness – I refuse to give up white rice.  Brown rice and (ew) wild rice just aren’t the same.  They just can’t replace my beloved white rice.  I will eat less of it, however, and many more fruits and vegetables along with mostly chicken and fish.  I’ve tried setting small goals or giving myself rewards for losing weight.  That just hasn’t worked for me.  I either just buy what I was going to reward myself with or decide I can live without it.    I’m going to try to look at it as a life style change.  I’m going to eat less, eat healthier, get in as much exercise as I can/when I can.  No small or large goals.  No rewards.  Just trying to be healthier.  I’m hoping this works.

 I want to send all of my family and friends handmade (by me) birthday cards.  You mean I don’t already do this?  No.  I have a very long list of family/friends and it always looked too intimidating to conquer, but was always in the back of my mind.  Since I don’t buy cards because I make them myself, this is actually a goal that I have been wanting to set for myself since I started seriously crafting about 5 years ago and I’m finally diving in.  Yesterday I started trying to gather everyone’s birth dates on my calendar so that I can keep track and spend time making a card, made especially for them when their birthday comes around.    Want a card made by me, especially for you?  haha.  Email me your birthday and address and I’ll add you to my list on my calendar.    (magallanesmelinda @ yahoo. com)

 Cleaning.  I happen to be one of those people that waits until something actually gets dirty or the livingroom piles up before I’ll clean it.  I have never been one of those clean everything every single day even if it doesn’t look dirty kind of people.  But I think I want to be one of those people.  Both my mom and sister are really anal that way.  It just never made much sense to me to clean something if I didn’t see dirt or clutter on it.  So I want to work on cleaning a little bit everyday so that maybe things won’t pile up or get dirty in the first place.  Unfortunately I don’t see much hope for this goal, but it would be really nice if I actually did it.  

And, totally inspired by Nicole’s neat new knitting skills, I want to try to learn to crochet again.  I tried it  last year and it didn’t work out too well.  I was trying to make a teddy bear and only got about a quarter of the head done.  I was lost.  I’d love to really learn; I’ve seen such cute stuffed animals made by crocheting.  One day you will see a photo of a really cute crocheted stuffed animal on here.

One Thing at a Time

That’s my new mantra for this year. One thing at a time.

We went on vacation to Rhode Island because I have a lot of family there. Grandparents, tons of aunts and uncles, and even more cousins all live in the same city or the next city over. I know, we’re boring. We never go on vacation to some exotic location – it’s always a vacation to visit family. We did have a great time. During the vacation, Steven and I got to relax and really focus on the bigger picture, not having to worry so much about the day-to-day. We talked in depth about our family’s future and what we want for ourselves and for our children. We talked about what we value and how we want our children to grow up – what things we feel are important for them to have in their lives. Now we have a much better idea of how the next 3-5 years will go for us.

One thing at a time, right? First our focus is on completing our adoption, which, by the way, has taken another turn. Since October/November we have constantly discussed what is going on with adoptions in Vietnam. I have hope, but I also started to research other options. We discussed wanting the stability that adoptions in Vietnam just can’t provide at the moment. I had a hard time with that, not finding anything that felt right, finally looking into the agency that did our homestudy. I looked at them without hope because they only do domestic open adoptions. I had looked into several other domestic adoption agencies and didn’t like any of them. However, the more we read about this agency, the more we liked them. I contacted them and we attended 3 meetings with them – 2 of them really in-depth in the entire process and we were incredibly impressed.

The thing that we were most impressed with was their commitment to not just completing adoptions, but doing what is best for everyone in the adoption triad. There is on-going counseling for expectant mothers that come to them both during pregnancy and after the adoption has been completed, counseling for your adopted child up until age 18, and a very open and honest and upfront relationship with prospective adoptive parents. I never would have considered an open adoption before a few months ago. My ideas have changed about what is important for my future child, and because of that I feel like this is really good for us and for our future child.

Two weeks ago we signed with Independent Adoption Center. We have to go get fingerprinted again because now we have to include foster adoption requirements and write up a Dear Birthmother letter (which I am trying to do and it is really hard because what do you say to your potential future child’s mother?). When our letter is approved, we will also create our website and then we’ll be officially waiting.

For now, an adoption in Vietnam won’t happen for us. We do hope to visit Vietnam when our children are a little bit older. I know I want my family in Vietnam to meet my husband and children. My grandfather’s shrine is also there and I’d like to introduce him to my family too. And I will still follow along with what is going on with adoptions in Vietnam. It is still a possibility if things become more stable and when we decide to grow our family again. I loved it when I was in Vietnam, and it’s a part of my life and who I am.

In another six months we’ll have all of our adoption expenses either paid for or saved up to pay for. This is big news for us. We’ve been putting a couple of things on hold to save money. We didn’t want to open up any credit or take out any loans, so all of the money for the adoption is money we have to save. This means that hopefully I can go back to school this fall. After I got pregnant with Chloe I stopped. I had originally been about a year and half away to completing a degree in hospitality management (I wanted to be in catering or run a banquet hall ), but so many things have changed in the last four years. I don’t know what I’ll do but I have another couple of months to plan and think about my future. And, yes, this also means that my husband will finally get his big screen tv by the end of this year.

One thing at a time. I’m just going to focus on what’s important this year. It’s going to be a busy year, but I am really looking forward to it. Last year wasn’t a bad year, but it was chaotic. I’m looking forward to a new year.