That’s my new mantra for this year. One thing at a time.
We went on vacation to Rhode Island because I have a lot of family there. Grandparents, tons of aunts and uncles, and even more cousins all live in the same city or the next city over. I know, we’re boring. We never go on vacation to some exotic location – it’s always a vacation to visit family. We did have a great time. During the vacation, Steven and I got to relax and really focus on the bigger picture, not having to worry so much about the day-to-day. We talked in depth about our family’s future and what we want for ourselves and for our children. We talked about what we value and how we want our children to grow up – what things we feel are important for them to have in their lives. Now we have a much better idea of how the next 3-5 years will go for us.
One thing at a time, right? First our focus is on completing our adoption, which, by the way, has taken another turn. Since October/November we have constantly discussed what is going on with adoptions in Vietnam. I have hope, but I also started to research other options. We discussed wanting the stability that adoptions in Vietnam just can’t provide at the moment. I had a hard time with that, not finding anything that felt right, finally looking into the agency that did our homestudy. I looked at them without hope because they only do domestic open adoptions. I had looked into several other domestic adoption agencies and didn’t like any of them. However, the more we read about this agency, the more we liked them. I contacted them and we attended 3 meetings with them – 2 of them really in-depth in the entire process and we were incredibly impressed.
The thing that we were most impressed with was their commitment to not just completing adoptions, but doing what is best for everyone in the adoption triad. There is on-going counseling for expectant mothers that come to them both during pregnancy and after the adoption has been completed, counseling for your adopted child up until age 18, and a very open and honest and upfront relationship with prospective adoptive parents. I never would have considered an open adoption before a few months ago. My ideas have changed about what is important for my future child, and because of that I feel like this is really good for us and for our future child.
Two weeks ago we signed with Independent Adoption Center. We have to go get fingerprinted again because now we have to include foster adoption requirements and write up a Dear Birthmother letter (which I am trying to do and it is really hard because what do you say to your potential future child’s mother?). When our letter is approved, we will also create our website and then we’ll be officially waiting.
For now, an adoption in Vietnam won’t happen for us. We do hope to visit Vietnam when our children are a little bit older. I know I want my family in Vietnam to meet my husband and children. My grandfather’s shrine is also there and I’d like to introduce him to my family too. And I will still follow along with what is going on with adoptions in Vietnam. It is still a possibility if things become more stable and when we decide to grow our family again. I loved it when I was in Vietnam, and it’s a part of my life and who I am.
In another six months we’ll have all of our adoption expenses either paid for or saved up to pay for. This is big news for us. We’ve been putting a couple of things on hold to save money. We didn’t want to open up any credit or take out any loans, so all of the money for the adoption is money we have to save. This means that hopefully I can go back to school this fall. After I got pregnant with Chloe I stopped. I had originally been about a year and half away to completing a degree in hospitality management (I wanted to be in catering or run a banquet hall 
), but so many things have changed in the last four years. I don’t know what I’ll do but I have another couple of months to plan and think about my future. And, yes, this also means that my husband will finally get his big screen tv by the end of this year. 
One thing at a time. I’m just going to focus on what’s important this year. It’s going to be a busy year, but I am really looking forward to it. Last year wasn’t a bad year, but it was chaotic. I’m looking forward to a new year.
