When Chloe was first born and learning new things and growing up there was something so exciting about it. The first time she rolled over, sat up, ate solid food, took her first steps. I remember every one of those magical moments with joy and excitement.
When we moved back in August we had to take apart Chloe’s bed to move it and when we got here just never got around to putting her bed back together. We’ve been cosleeping with Chloe since she was just days old (on her order, mind you, she was not having that crib – not that I complain, I love sleeping with my baby). We’ve always known one day she would grasp her independence and want to sleep in her own bed. But, in my mind, it’s like weaning from the breast – it’s not happening NOW, it’s happening LATER, when she’s ready. ;p
So we’ve always been open about the fact that Chloe has her own bed. We’ve never pushed her either way, leaving the decision up to her. Two days ago she tells her daddy that she wants him to put her bed together. It shocked us a little bit but we went ahead and put the bed together, with Chloe’s help of course. We put the bed across from our bed so that she could still see us, just in case since this was such a big step for her.
We got ready for bed, read her a story, started to settle in OUR bed when she says, “I want my big girl bed.” So we tucked her into her big girl bed and sang her some songs. But she was nervous and couldn’t sleep. Finally, after midnight and lots of calls for “mommy,” we were too tired and had to bring her back into our bed (not what Chloe wanted to do, which she showed with loud protests, but she fell asleep right away anyway).
Last night, at her request, we tucked her into her big girl bed, read stories and sang songs. She was still nervous and figeting so we pulled her bed all the way against our bed. And, after tossing and turning for a bit, she fell asleep and my little baby girl spent her first night in her big girl bed.
And, as shameful as it is to admit this, I’m so sad. I love that she’s growing into her independence and trusts us, but my baby is growing up and I feel like crying. I celebrated with “hoorays” in the morning with her, but that first night was hard. I don’t know how many times I woke up to check on her.
So the point of my story, I’m going to be a WRECK when she weans and potty-trains(which I think she’s almost ready to start) and goes to school and starts dating and graduates high school and leaves for college and gets married . . . . . .