Right before a job interview I always look up those lists of what to do and what not to do. My husband and I have been talking about our upcoming social worker interviews and what to say and how to act. (We finally got our bill in the mail a couple of days ago. I felt weird being so happy paying a bill. It’s just not natural.) I know that a large part of it is being ourselves and being upfront and honest. But, just like a job interview, I believe there has to be a certain aspect that involves putting ourselves out there in a way that will make us look good. It’s about presenting yourself well.So we think and we wonder. We wonder how we look as potential parents. (One of the things that has made us happy is that attachment parenting is so well received as a way to parent adopted children. We’ve received so much criticism for parenting Chloe this way. I almost feel like it’s an excuse so that we can co-sleep and not spank and hold our baby all the time without questions or comments or criticism.)
While I have heard and do believe the social worker is there to help; there is an understanding of we’re being interviewed and judged and looked at with scrutiny. It’s enough to make any parent go nuts. Now I have to question and wonder how I look as a parent, which, with Chloe I don’t even sort of have to do. Well, sort of, I do wonder how Chloe will see me as a parent. I’ve read so many books on parenting, articles on parenting, web sites, blogs. . .and in the end – I’m honestly just winging it. I’m going based on what I think is best for my family at the time.
And honestly. I don’t always make the best decisions. I don’t always keep a calm, cool head and in fact can get downright frustrated with my child sometimes. I do let her watch a bunch of tv that I know I shouldn’t, but I give in because I want to be able to relax too. I don’t cook her nutritious meals every night. I don’t even sort of keep my house spotless, and one of us is always stepping on some toy or thing that isn’t where it should be. I do sometimes give in to her whining just because I don’t feel like fighting. I don’t always understand what she wants or needs. I curse while I’m driving. I have arguments with my husband in front of her. I don’t live in a large home.
We’re not perfect parents. We do have lots of love. And we have lots of fun. I hope our social worker can see that. Can see that we do everything we can to do the best we can.