Interviewing Techniques

Right before a job interview I always look up those lists of what to do and what not to do. My husband and I have been talking about our upcoming social worker interviews and what to say and how to act. (We finally got our bill in the mail a couple of days ago. I felt weird being so happy paying a bill. It’s just not natural.) I know that a large part of it is being ourselves and being upfront and honest. But, just like a job interview, I believe there has to be a certain aspect that involves putting ourselves out there in a way that will make us look good. It’s about presenting yourself well.So we think and we wonder. We wonder how we look as potential parents. (One of the things that has made us happy is that attachment parenting is so well received as a way to parent adopted children. We’ve received so much criticism for parenting Chloe this way. I almost feel like it’s an excuse so that we can co-sleep and not spank and hold our baby all the time without questions or comments or criticism.)

While I have heard and do believe the social worker is there to help; there is an understanding of we’re being interviewed and judged and looked at with scrutiny. It’s enough to make any parent go nuts. Now I have to question and wonder how I look as a parent, which, with Chloe I don’t even sort of have to do. Well, sort of, I do wonder how Chloe will see me as a parent. I’ve read so many books on parenting, articles on parenting, web sites, blogs. . .and in the end – I’m honestly just winging it. I’m going based on what I think is best for my family at the time.

And honestly. I don’t always make the best decisions. I don’t always keep a calm, cool head and in fact can get downright frustrated with my child sometimes. I do let her watch a bunch of tv that I know I shouldn’t, but I give in because I want to be able to relax too. I don’t cook her nutritious meals every night. I don’t even sort of keep my house spotless, and one of us is always stepping on some toy or thing that isn’t where it should be. I do sometimes give in to her whining just because I don’t feel like fighting. I don’t always understand what she wants or needs. I curse while I’m driving. I have arguments with my husband in front of her. I don’t live in a large home.

We’re not perfect parents. We do have lots of love. And we have lots of fun. I hope our social worker can see that. Can see that we do everything we can to do the best we can.

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6 responses to “Interviewing Techniques

  1. You sound pretty typical to me! We all do the best we can…we don’t need to be perfect!

  2. What?!?! You’re not perfect?!?! I think I’ll go call your social worker right now! LOL. The part about cursing while driving reminded me of a time I honked the horn at another driver and kinda shouted “Stupid!” The guy had nearly run me off the road. Anyway, my oldest wasn’t even two yet. Every time she heard a car honking after that she would yell “STUPID!” It was lovely, and didn’t wear off for months. What a great example I am at times!

  3. You just described me to a T. Angelica always reminds me of the time some guy rear-ended us and how I jumped of our car cussing and screaming at him (and she loves to tell everyone about the “a-hole who hit mommy.) I am far from perfect and our SW saw it first hand when Angelica was pushing my buttons in an interview and I had to put her in time-out and the time she pulled a book shelf down when we were meeting at the library for our final homestudy meeting. And it was difficult admitting to her how my family and I are not very close and how Lanny got a DUI 14 years ago. Our social worker thanked me over and over for my honesty. When a family seems too put-together it raises red flags.

  4. Yeah…I had a DUI in 1988 and sweated it with our first Homestudy…obviously no biggie as I have Annslee home. You are the perfect parents for your child and that is all that matters!

  5. Hi I just found your blog and I have to say I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I’m just winging it as well, and my son actually caught me saying a “bad word” just last night (it was right after I closed a Victoria’s Secret Swim suit catalog, so I think my use of the word bi***es is justified!) And we still co-sleep and he’s 4! Anyway, I look forward to following your journey!

  6. Grammy Shelley

    There is no such thing as “perfect parents”… which is a good thing, as there is no such thing as a “typical child”. You two are great parents showing love and caring for Chloe – keep it up! (Don’t listen to anyone who says you are wrong…. if you love Chloe and are trying your best, you are definitely right)

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