I had a long talk, hours long, with several cousins and my parents about whether or not we should bring Chloe to Vietnam with us when we pick up the baby. It’s been such a big issue in my head, and these are some of the things that we all discussed:
Some of our pros on bringing Chloe to Vietnam.
She’ll be with me. I’m going to miss her terribly. It’s one of my main reasons for wanting to bring her along with us. We’ve never been apart for longer than plain work hours. And in all honesty, anytime I’ve thought about having Chloe stay home while we’re in Vietnam, I have always changed my mind because of this. It’s almost painful to think about. But as we get closer and closer to realizing our dream, I realize I am going to have to go deeper than just I’m going to miss her.
She’ll be able to be apart of the first moments with her baby brother. Bonding. I think it will ultimately be very good for both her and her baby brother for them to share this experience. She will experience the change of having a sibling with us. As opposed to one day coming back and meeting this new little person after mommy and daddy have been away so long. I figure it’ll be less shocking.
She will experience Vietnam. Vietnam has history for Chloe, and also her baby brother, and I want her to appreciate that. Her grandmother grew up there and I was hoping to take her to my Uncle’s house (the house that my mom grew up in), as well as meeting the rest of our family. It’s about helping her connect to our family’s past. One day I hope to take our family to China as well, for the same reasons.
It’s a family thing. As well as wanting Chloe to meet our family in Vietnam, I also want them to meet her. I think that they would enjoy her immensely. They were very excited to hear that we’ll be coming to Vietnam and I’m sure Chloe was part of that.
If Chloe comes with us so will my mom. My mom speaks Vietnamese and it would be wonderful to have her there with us to help out with Chloe, the baby, and translating. I am especially appreciative of this when we go visit my family. I have a couple of cousins that speak a little bit of English, but I’m a little uncomfortable about our ability to communicate with each other without my mom there.
Some of our cons for bringing Chloe with us to Vietnam.
What if she gets sick? *knock on wood* I can’t just brush this one aside. I got sick while I was in Vietnam (drank bottled water or soda or soup or hot tea or coffee the entire time – completely didn’t realize that I shouldn’t have ICE). It was Horrible. First my mom got sick. Less than 24 hours later I got sick. Everything was coming out of everywhere and I was in so much pain. It was worse than being in labor. At least in labor I had an epidural. Lovely, beautiful epidural. No epidural for drinking the water in Vietnam. I don’t want Chloe to have to go through that and wouldn’t know how to help her if she did.
We hope to visit Vietnam when our children are older. Chloe is very young. Even though I really look forward to her experiencing Vietnam, chances are that she won’t remember it or will only remember bits and pieces (my family went to Spain and Paris when I was about Chloe’s age – the only thing that I remember is chasing pigeons, which we actually have pictures of so I’m not sure if I’m remembering the memory or remembering the pictures). When we take our children when they are older they will have something that they can remember and appreciate more than when you’re only 3.
We can focus on the baby. One of my cousins pointed out that in this situation, although it will be nice for Chloe to be with us and the baby, it might be better for the baby if we can have our full attention on him and only him. It might make for an easier initial transition. I am not sure about this one, but I can definitely understand his point and where this idea would come from.
It will cost less. This reason feels like such a selfish and horrible, shouldn’t be here reason, but it is there and very real. We’re beginning to save for the trip and feel overwhelmed. It would take a few thousand off of the total without paying for my mom’s and Chloe’s tickets/meals/hotel room.
So there it is. I have no clue what I’m going to decide, but it will have to be soon. We need to save money and if Chloe isn’t going we need to start her on spending the night, and maybe even several nights, at my parents house so that it won’t be such a shock to her system when she does it while we’re in Vietnam.
Okay, I will leave you with a “joke” that Chloe made up all by herself and told to me the other day:
Chloe: knock, knock
Mommy: Who’s there?
Mommy: Mommy who?
Chloe: Mommy loves Chloe! *laughs hysterically*