Once a month our adoption agency hosts a support group meeting. We’ve missed the last three and I’ve been going stir-crazy. At the meeting are both people still waiting, like us, and also adoptive parents.
It was a bigger group last night than we usually have, but that was nice. I love hearing all the different stories and seeing all the little ones. It helps. Everyone’s story has been completely different. We get to discuss our adoptions and anything on our mind about it, happy or mopey.
Though I tend to immerse myself in discussions about adoption online, reading everything I can about it – my husband doesn’t. We talk about it, but that’s not the same thing. This has become his chance to be completely there in that world, discussing issues, finding out about everything, and getting support.
I go for the stories and the connections, so I don’t lose hope. We were asked about how many contacts we’ve had since we’ve been waiting now for 6 months and I had to admit that we haven’t had any at all (yeah, that’s not such a fun topic for me). The couple next to us, who had the cutest baby girl, promptly told us about their wait story which included zero contacts for two years until they got the call that eventually led to the adoption of their daughter.
After so many months you would think you’ve heard all the stories, but someone always comes in and throws me for a loop. We’ve heard about the short waits, the decade long wait, the no contacts until “the one,” the very many contacts throughout the wait, and the ones in between.
And that’s the thing about domestic adoption. Every story is different and every wait is completely different. It can be frustrating and exciting, among other feelings at different times. It also puts the bigger picture into perspective since the day to day wait can be daunting at times.